by San Bruno Parents Club

Potty-Training While Sheltering in Place (AKA “Might as Well Pee All Over Our Disaster of a Home”)

By Jennie L.

Hello from Day 5 of “sheltering in place.” While I was extremely reluctant to add “potty training” to the list of things we’re drowning in right now, it just kind of made sense. Here we are with weeks/months ahead of us at home, a possibly spotty supply of diapers, and kids who are glued to us. Turns out, it’s kind of the perfect setup for potty-training (in addition to losing your mind).

So I gave it a go. I sped-read Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right, by Jamie Glowacki, a book that was highly recommended by many SBPC parents. Because we’re all low on time and energy right now, I thought I’d bullet point the steps here in case someone else wanted to try it without the extra reading.

Obviously there are a million approaches to potty training, but this is a very popular one. Some initial advice:

  • Bring out the potty chair on the first day of training. Make clear that you’re starting something new.
  • Roll up the rugs.
  • Have your child start practicing pushing their pants down and pulling them up.

The actual steps are as follows. Each step can take as many days as you like. If your kid gets the hang of a particular step in half a day or 3 days, you can just move on to the next. Or a step could take much longer—proceed however feels right to your child’s progress.

STEP 1: NAKED (NO PANTS, NO DIAPER)

  • This means they literally run around all day(s) with no diaper and no pants on.
  • Never ask your child if they have to use the potty. Instead, say, “It’s time to come use the potty.” Don’t give any opportunity to say no.
  • On the first day, give your child a little extra fluid (juice is easy) but don’t overdo it. You just want to give them some extra opportunity to practice.
  • Watch your kid like a hawk. Your job is to catch the pee/poop (meaning pick them up as soon as they start peeing) and rush them to the toilet (without frightening them). You’ll also start to recognize signs that they’re about to pee/poop.
  • The child will start to build awareness that they are peeing. And every time, they might hold it for a few seconds longer. (This might not happen for a few days, and that’s okay.)
  • You might need to resort to some tricks to keep them on the pot (particularly for pooping). Read to them, sing to them, play some music, etc.
  • Many children really like dumping their pee/poop from the pot into the toilet and flushing, and that feels like a reward to them.
  • Any pee/poop that ends up on the floor during Step 1 isn’t an accident; it’s part of the necessary learning process.
  • Continue to use diapers for nap/nighttime but say “I’m going to put a diaper on you for sleeping because you’re still learning. You might not remember to hold your pee when you’re sleeping. We’re going to take your diaper off again when you wake up.” This way, you explain what to expect and why.
  • End result: Your child, while naked, can sit to pee and poop on the potty. This can be because you prompted her to do it or she went on her own.

STEP 2: COMMANDO (PANTS BUT NO DIAPER)

  • Ditch the onesies, overalls, footie pajamas, and any pants with zippers/ buttons/ snaps. The idea is to put them in pants they can push down themselves.
  • When they wet their pants, have them help you clean up and get new pants.
  • You might start getting some resistance to going to the potty. Your child might not have to go; you can start respecting it when she clearly says so. “Okay, I trust you to tell me when you have to use the potty.” Don’t hound them. Or you can say “Well, let’s try. If nothing comes out, we can try again later,” and try again in half an hour (not 10 minutes). Or if your child is resisting because they’re involved in something, give him a short chance to finish up what he’s doing. (But you can also say, “You can bring your truck with you to the bathroom” or “Truck, you wait here. Pascal’s going to pee and be right back.” Or “Do you want to show Bear how to pee?”)

STEP 3: SHORT TRIPS (STILL COMMANDO)

  • You can start doing Step 3 alongside Step 2. Basically, start leaving the house for short periods of time that get longer and longer. (In our coronavirus era, I think this really just means walking/playing near the house.)
  • Get a good pee before leaving the house. (Again, don’t hound them, but wait to leave until right after a pee.)
  • Around this time, some kids but not all will start to self-initiate and tell you they have to pee or poop.
  • Don’t over-prompt. Try to toss out prompts as casually as possible. “I can see you have to pee. There’s your potty.” Maybe even leave them to it.

STEP 4: PEEING AND POOPING WITH UNDERPANTS
STEP 5: CONSISTENT SELF-INITIATION

  • By now you should see real progress toward consistent self-initiation. Don’t expect that there will never be accidents again; they’re a part of life. If your child is making it to the potty more often than not, that’s good. (Ie, 5 pees and 2 misses is good.)
  • By week 3, underpants and self-initiation kind of sort themselves out. You might also notice dry diapers at naptime/nighttime as they learn to hold their pee.

STEP 5: NIGHTTIME TRAINING

  • This doesn’t actually have to be done as Step 5. The author says this order is easier to handle for most parents, but naps/nighttime can be tackled from the beginning very effectively as well.
  • Nighttime is a really long time. You’ll have to (1) carefully monitor fluid intake 2-3 hours before bedtime and/or (2) wake your child to pee.
  • Start with two night wakings (such as 10pm and 2am) until you start to learn the pattern of your child’s peeing. Put the potty near the bed and leave the lights off so they’ll go back to sleep easily. You may have to adjust the wake times to your child’s particular patterns. Soon you can just do one night waking, and if they’re dry, you can start moving the time of that waking later and later. Eventually, your child will be able to either (1) hold the pee all night or (2) wake up to ask to pee.
  • Keep a change of clothes and a fleece blanket near the bed. When there’s an accident, spread the doubled-up fleece blanket over the bed and place your child on top of the blanket in new, dry clothes. That way, you don’t have to change sheets in the middle of the night. (If they wet the bed, still have them pee in the potty before you put them to bed again; they may not have emptied their bladder fully.)
  • It’s not necessary to night-train right away, but do not allow them to go past the age of 3/3.5 without night training, as it becomes infinitely harder to train them after that.

Half of the book is devoted to trouble-shooting specific problems that might arise during the potty-training process. If you’re running into some specific problems (for example, your child refuses to poop for many days), you may want to buy the book to look them up. There’s also a chapter called “Younger Than 20 Months, Older Than Three Years” for those who are outside the more usual range.

This process was surprisingly seamless for us. We got to Step 4 in two days—probably a sign that G was ready a long time ago, haha. But we have not been brave enough to try night training yet. Neither my partner nor I is willing to sacrifice sleep in these trying times. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Hang in there, friends.